Intolerant of Tolerance

Intolerant of Tolerance

Tolerance. How much should we be tolerant, and for what? Does it always lead to a good thing?

Maybe I should reflect upon the difference between tolerance and acceptance first. I see them as two very different things. For me tolerance means you "allow" things that go against your way of thinking. Acceptance means that every cell of your body relaxes because you know you can't change something and are ok with it.

I feel like sometimes we accept some things that we could change and are intolerant of things that don't matter. Like, how long did it take some people to accept bans on indoor cigarette smoking even though it's for the public good? On the contrary, people accept the high level of sugar in our diets which has been proven to affect our weight, mood, and cognitive activity. But then again, how intolerant are some people when there is a person taking a long time in a check-out line? Does it really matter in the end? 

I imagine some types of tolerance creeping upon our skin–itching–and we keep scratching. It's like we try to tolerate milk even though we're intolerant and we keep getting a rash. The scratching craves our attention even if we try to ignore it. Should we tolerate a racist comment just because someone is "from a different generation" and let it go? Or the slip of a boss's hand down one's back because "he didn't really do anything"? Or a partner's snide comment about how you should go on a diet because you fear it's true?

There is a lot we tolerate but shouldn't, for fear of losing a job, a partner or appearing like a "stick in the mud."

It's difficult sometimes to know when to draw the line and say something. Are we being too sensitive? How will the people around us react? We may not feel it's safe, or that someone might not understand. But it's there in our gut–that squeezing that says "stop!"

It's awful when we feel like other people will never change so we don't give them the chance to. More than that, unsaid arguments build up inside us like a pressure pot. They will come out sooner or later, and most often are detrimental to our health when we keep them in.

Ah, yes–the complexities of tolerance. When to give and when to pull. Give and pull, give and pull.

Text: Kristen Mastromarchi

Photo: "tolerance" by glsims99 is licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 2.0.