Reality Pang

Reality Pang

Pung! A pang right in my solar plexus. 

Despite where I live being a paradise for most, there are a good number of desperate destitutes roaming the streets and making the pavement their home.  Some souls stutter along, jittering from the toxic effects of drugs. There are others in wheelchairs outside of supermarkets or eateries waiting for a good Samaritan to give up some change. Still others are on their feet searching for a pint of pity. One even scolded me the other day for my lack of sympathy telling me I was "bad". 

In reality, I'm not lacking in it, but feel overwhelmed by it...by the fact that I can't help everybody and not knowing who to help.

There is one homeless man who sits on the boardwalk near my apartment, repeating a raucous "HELP ME, PLEASE". He usually leans against the wall in the same angle across from the beach, although recently he has started to change spots because the shop owners have complained about his raspy pleas. They are more like hoarse imperatives, a negative mantra that has surely molded him.

The other day, however, he was strangely quiet. His hair was clean (as it sometimes is) and he was just watching people go by. It was his new attitude that made me meet his eye. Startled, I looked down, but I was trying to understand what had changed so I raised my eyes again. I was disconcerted to find that he was observing me. Why? Does he know I pass by him almost every day? Is the difference that he was lucid today? Was he just hoping I would stop and give him something?

This wasn't the event that turned my stomach, however. What made me cringe was that later in the day I saw a man twisted on top of some blankets, his wheelchair folded beside him. He was stretched in the alcove of a dentist's office under an advertisement suggesting to always put on your best smile. 

It just got to me in a physical way. 

However, a little girl restored my mood today. The now oddly silent man was sitting swaddled in his usual blanket in hia usual angle. Then, this lovely little girl with soft, brown girls put her hand out and started waving to him. He was too concentrated on puffing his cigarette to notice, so she added, "Hello!" to the movement. And he waved back.

That one little gesture made all the difference, at least for me who was watching.

Photo: <a href="https://pixabay.com/users/johnondreasz-340083/?utm_source=link-attribution&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=image&utm_content=5457554">John Ondreasz</a> from <a href="https://pixabay.com//?utm_source=link-attribution&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=image&utm_content=5457554">Pixabay</a>

Text: Kristen Mastromarchi