Relationships with a Dance

Relationships with a Dance

What if instead of a handshake you reached out your hand to invite someone to dance? That is, as a greeting you lead someone in a step, or follow their lead?

I've always liked to imagine the world breaking out into dance...while waiting for a bus, explaining something in the office or at school, or  jumping on the table like in the movie/musical "Hair" to grab someone's attention. I know a lot of people don't like musicals because they feel they're unrealistic, but what if they were realistic–that you could express yourself through a song or a dance? Maybe it would be easier to get your point across in many cases...

How different would relationships be if we had to move together? To smooth over that awkward start when you don't know what to say? What if you didn't have to say anything?

I was thinking about this recently while norms were being swept away at swing night. Many people just put their hand out waiting for me to accept their proposal without saying anything, while others started with: "Hi. Do you want to dance?" No niceties were needed except that I follow him or her to the dance floor and do my best to be receptive. It wasn't important what people did or what they were doing in life. What was important was the exchange at that moment: that undeniable pull to move together with the music.

In the end, dance is all about relationships: between the music and yourself,  you and your partner. Dancing says a lot about a person, even more so at times than having a conversation. I think people are generally cautious about what they reveal or how they reveal themselves while talking. Some people have no idea what to say, but express a lot more through dancing. I have found a surprising connection to some people on the dance floor that I have difficulty talking to. On the negative side, at times I thought I liked someone during a conversation but found them way too forceful or we just didn't understand each other on the dance floor.

The point is, you can't hide with a dance. It's you 100% because you can't fake it if you are present.  If you "try too hard" that will come out, too. All the "youness" appears in its best and worst attire, as with anyone you dance with. So, you just go for it and stop pretending.

It can be liberating.

So, why not start a relationship with a dance?

Text: Kristen Mastromarchi

Photos: 1. Josh Willlink

              2. Andrea Piacqua