Vipers

 

Vipers

"We are all vipers," she said.

I didn't answer for a while as I imagined all of us slithering around on the earth–some of us with our mouths open in attack mode, and others retreating into the tall grass. We were all fascinating in our own way–some of us were violet, some red, some a deceiving baby blue, some unsuspectingly blending into the environment...We took turns snapping at each other and then disappearing into the green.

"What do you mean by that?" I finally asked.

"That we're all waiting to criticise each other. We've all got something to say about somebody else. It's not just bullies who bully other people."

I sat back and thought: She's right. Could I truthfully say that I had never criticised anyone? No, even if I prided myself on making people feel good about themselves. And how many times had I thought a critique without saying it? Was that even worse?

I'm not sure why we feel the need to criticise others. Perhaps it is a way to make us feel superior, or feel better about ourselves. Criticising is an illusory fix, however–what would really make us feel better is a change in ourselves, not in others.

For example, I've heard: "You're too thin." Apart from the fact that we all have a different idea of "thin", one person who was very insistent about it was "skinny" herself. Maybe she didn't want to be that way. 

Are we really all vipers, though? Haven't some of us reached a butterfly state where we don't need to criticise each other, or we simply don't feel the need? There are people who always have a kind or positive word to lift us up; they're the kind of people I aim to emulate.

Can you think of the vipers and butterflies in your life?

Text: Kristen Mastromarchi

Photo:"Guatemalan Palm Viper (Pit Viper)" by MyFWC Florida Fish and Wildlife is marked with CC BY-ND 2.0.