Small Victories

Small Victories

I puckered my lips today and accompanying the air flow was the hint of a note. I was whistling! I hadn't been able to whistle for almost two years because of my paralyzed bottom lip. I recorded a weak but melodious whistle on my phone and sent it to my partner as sonorous proof.

This is a landmark day. "All my tiny progressions should be marked with signs!" I declared to myself.

"These were her first swing steps a month after surgery." 

"This is where her right dimple started to crease again." 

And today: "This was when she got her whistle back!!!"

If all those micro moments (and many more) were recorded, then my progress would be tangible. I could go back and choose the right way again and the way of enthusiasm. I would be able to get out of pessimistic situations saying, "Look! Look at how far I've come! And with such small steps!"

The truth is improvement is hardly ever in the leaps and bounds, but in all those hours (sometimes years) and struggles learning the leaps. Progress is also hardly ever direct...there are often turns or speed bumps along the way.

A couple of weeks ago I felt ecstatic when an electric shock ran through my lips for quite a while. The shock woke me out of my sleeping state and I hugged the sheets in gratitude. I then dreamed of having total mobility the next day, however in reality the process is still underway. But it's all good, literally. The small victories are the ones I savor at this point.

Photo: Richard Duijnstee

Text: Kristen Mastromarchi